100 Things

Because I can do it faster and better than you can

Hogan Torah

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Photo by Emma Llamas from Pexels

Recently a bunch of bros were either inspired or jealous of me and embarked on a series of speed exercises to see if they could write a story in 20 minutes.

They did but they sucked. To assert my dominance over these guys, I’m doing a hundred things.

They can be anything, but most importantly they need to be entertaining. Clock is ticking so here I go.

  1. A talking butt.
  2. Diahreah on an airplane.
  3. Admitting you can’t spell the word for when you can’t stop pooping to the point where google doesn’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.
  4. The skin of a baby.
  5. The golden hour.
  6. Golden showers.
  7. The tower of power.
  8. That Christain power team that used to do the phone books and break 2x4.
  9. Monster truck rallys.
  10. Bigfoot the car.
  11. Bigfoot the thing that drunk hillbillies see.
  12. Fusion energy reactors.
  13. Slurpee machines.
  14. Coin operated carwash.
  15. Coin operated laundry and the Hispanic lady that gives me dirty looks.
  16. Seriously, what the fuck lady. Yeah, white in a laundromat. I know right? What are you going to do?
  17. Those 6 dollar meals Jack in the Box has where they pour nacho cheese over 4 dollars worth of food.
  18. Mark Wahlberg's abs.
  19. Denver, the Last Dinosaur. What the fuck is he doing.
  20. Magnets, how do they work?
  21. It’s always fun until someone gets hurt, and then it’s just hilarious.
  22. Fuck Trump.
  23. Minnie was kinda of a hoochie. She knows that skirt is too short.
  24. Is there any coach more worthless than a soccer coach.
  25. Fake Coach Handbags.
  26. Now this toatally isn’t going to get distributed.
  27. None of my stuff is distributed.
  28. Leading myself into old jokes.
  29. Grapenuts, no grapes…

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Hogan Torah

Counterculture journalist 💘drugs humor social media✍️ Google me, I autofill 🕶️