I wish I could make this stuff up.

I’ve been writing or blogging for 25 years. I started writing to self soothe when coming down from Ecstasy. Originally my medium was pen and paper. Then AOL. After that, MySpace. Until, drugs.

My early screen names included Logboi, Bloodninja, Anotherlogan, Ohmygodude, and ScourgeoftheWest.

Okay, the celebration is slightly premature, but I am drunk and don’t care. I got a million views on a tweet.

A reply to a tweet is still a tweet. But yo, check it.

SUPERPOWERS ARE PLOT HOLE SPACKLE

I was dicking around on Twitter and came across this tweet by a rival writer.

I hate John DeVore. He’s a great writer, but I hate him.

As a writer, I naturally hate any other writer that has more followers than I do. Any writer with less followers I look down my nose at. John and I are both pop-culture journalist humorists and he has more followers than me so fuck that guy.

I was fairly certain I knew which television program he spoke of. It’s the same program all the nerds are talking about and I hate it.

The year was 1994 and heavy metal had been declared dead. A decade of posers wearing spandex, singing through their noses had tainted the brand.

Grunge music was in the process of taking over the world. Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog were beginning their reign at the top of gangster rap. Yet the top 5 songs for 1994 on Billboard’s charts were these.

1. "The Sign” Ace of Base
2. "I Swear” All-4-One
3. "I’ll Make Love to You” Boyz II Men
4. "The Power of Love” Céline Dion
5. "Hero” Mariah Carey

The album rankings looked much the same.

I was fifteen years old…

These aren’t about comics where you can slip in a character without having the crap sued out of you. These are official licensed crossovers that George Lucas gave the green light to because he loves money.

The Muppet Show —The Stars of Star Wars

Considering Frank Oz played Yoda, this crossover makes sense. But the Muppets intentionally never made any sense. Late 70’s TV was nothing but famous people singing and dancing. This was no different.

Luke Skywalker and his cousin Mark Hamill (because that’s how they are playing it) come to the Muppet show to rescue Chewbacca. …

Like many electronic videos, I dismissed this as crap in the late 90's.

Then I got into music production and started seeing not only music in a different way, but music videos.

A good music video should synch up with what is going on with the song. At the first glance this video is a guy looking out the window on a train, but it’s so much more. The scenery passes in time with the music. It does an incredible job demonstrating the nuances of the song.

Still mind blowing.

The year was 1998. Los Angeles. I was a drug dealer in my early 20's.

My clientele ranged the gamut between sixteen and sixty. In the older category there were these 3 guys… I nicknamed them The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers.

When I was younger I worked at an audio mastering studio in Los Angeles.

I was called in on a Saturday to the studio due to a rapper wanting to sit in on the mastering of his album to digital format. It was rare any artist cared enough to sit in on a mastering. But it happened on occasion.

Usually it was because the artist had no where else to go. Artists, especially rappers usually came with an entourage of 2 to 20 people. Which is the real reason I was called, for extra security.

We were surprised when…