Sign in

Satirist. Son of a Mouseketeer. Spoofing film, sex, drugs and music. Google me, I auto fill. Professional inquires/nudes to hogantorah@gmail.com

Time is a obsolete construct and must be stopped

Image author

October 22 is my birthday!

I’ll be turning 40’s again.

I don’t like my birthday on account of my dad dying when I was out for my 19th birthday. I don’t like time. Surviving isn’t much of an accomplishment.

You wanna get me something for my birthday and do yourself…


MWC LOSERS

But who kvetched best?

Image by me. I made that shit.

This week Medium announced the winners of the MMA WIC MCA Em-Oh-Kay Ey-You-Ess-who gives a fuck contest-stravaganza.

You wanna know who gives a fuck? All you assholes complaining.

Ever since Medium announced the winners my feed has been a never ending skid mark from the fuck tons of butthurt for…


I talked to my doctor about erectile dysfunction and all she gave me was a dirty look.

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

Choosing a primary care physician is serious business. I worked for Blue Cross of California for four years as a claims processor. Being a healthcare insider I learned a few tricks.

If you need to see a doctor today, choose a primary physician with an impossible to pronounce name. Dr…


ROBE AND WIZARD HAT

The Legend of The Bloodninja text logs

Image from My Little Pony who are paying homage to the Bloodninja

At the turn of the century the internet went public. The first writing I posted was something I wrote as a teenager. I posted my work anonymously in case everyone hated it. …


Turn of the century Minimalistic synthpop deserves another look

Photo of My Robot Friend by Greg Liburd

Electronic music took over the world silently around the turn of the century. If you look at pop icons like Madonna, she went electronic on her 2000 LP Music and never looked back.

Electroclash was poised to be the next big thing. It was like techno but the artists were…


Both of my marriages combined didn’t last a year

Image from IHOP’s delivery menu.

You can’t control who you fall in love with

Love is like a funny face pancake at IHOP.

The waitress brings it to your table and it looks gorgeous. You’ve never this way about a pancake before. You look at the pancake and shake your head in disbelief that this pancake is yours.

The first few bites are delicious…


I go to NA meetings to steal material and stay off heroin

Photo by Handi Berty from Pexels

I stopped doing drugs two and half years years ago. I never quit, I just stopped doing them. The difference is that you can’t relapse if you never quit.

Last week someone gave me a 1982 Nissan Shitbox because I didn’t have a car. I fixed up all my outstanding…


PLEASE LET THAT BE CHINESE

I think it’s Chinese

From medium.com

I love it when new features appear on Medium. Unless that feature is a change is to the algorithm and it messes with my money. Then it’s the worst.

A feature appeared on desktop this afternoon in Opera browser. …


You know you want it…

Still from the Blurred Lines video. Girls look like they're having a blast.

This week the song “Blurred Lines” was in the news.

Emily Ratajkowski, the hip shifting woman on the far left accused Robin Thicke of groping her bare breasts unscripted during the shooting of the unrated version of the video.

“Blurred Lines” is god awful. The song was always the drizzling…


It’s a short list

Photo by Антон Жук from Pexels

I’ve never experienced imposter syndrome. I am a writer.

From my first Livejournal post, I knew I was good. There was room for improvement, but I knew I had the ability to do this professionally.

20 years later I’m still improving. But as good as I get, there’s always going…

Hogan Torah

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store