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Hogan Torah
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CELEBRITY SKIN

Solid advice for celebrities thinking about dating a Fan

Photo by Christian Diokno from Pexels

I am the son of a Mousekeeter. My father was a member of the original Mickey Mouse Club.

He played Little Jake in the Oscar winning motion picture Annie Get Your Gun when he was only five years old. He played roles in the major motion pictures Cause for Alarm and Monkey Business. He guest stared in an episode of Lassie where he kicked Timmy’s ass.


WRITING ABOUT WRITING

It’s good enough isn’t

Photo by Simon Zimič from Pexels

Hello, I’m Hogan Torah and I’m one of those assholes who makes over a thousand dollars a month on Medium, not counting the bonus. It took a year of me publishing on Medium to get to here.

The money came suddenly. For months I hovered at just below the hundred dollar mark, then I hit a thousand and the next month I hit two thousand.

My friends on Medium asked me on Twitter what changed? How did I manage to break through?

I stopped publishing posts I knew weren’t any good.

I’ve reached a point on Medium where I can…


BUTT STUFF

Can a toilet get your ass so clean it’s uncomfortable?

Through some fault of my own, I am now residing in a guest bedroom at my friend Rick’s house.

Rick is hardly lacking in space. He and his wife live in a three-floor multi-million dollar mansion on 40 acres.

What does Rick do for money?

Right now you’re using the internet to read this story. That’s him.

Rick is also a gadget freak. See this thing my hand is inside?


You can watch every episode for free right now on Tubi

Brady Bunch Kids on Celebrity Bowling
Brady Bunch Kids on Celebrity Bowling
Courtesy Tubi

While searching for reality shows on the amazing free streaming service Tubi, I found this gem.


HERE’S A STORY OF SOME LOVELY STORIES

Here’s a little story I got to tell about four stories I wrote that did pretty well

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

In my imagination people are always saying to me, “Hogan, you are so handsome and smart and creative. Where do you get the ideas for your stories that you publish in MuddyUm?”

I tell the imaginary voices in my head that it’s pretty weird I’m addressing myself using my pen name. Also that I get my inspiration from a variety of places, but mostly Twitter. Every story of mine has a story behind it and sometimes the creation story is almost as good as story.

My number one most read story has an amazing story behind it. The other three…


One hundred and forty four keys to freedom

Photograph of the author, Hogan Torah, grinning, wearing beige and brown striped beanie hat. Full beard. Appears to be in kitchen.
Photograph of the author, Hogan Torah, grinning, wearing beige and brown striped beanie hat. Full beard. Appears to be in kitchen.
Image author

I was a slave to my addictions for over twenty years. Drugs tricked my brain into thinking I needed them and enjoyed being high all the time.

I never quit drugs, I just haven’t done them in two years. If I ever tell myself, “I’m never doing drugs again,” the first thing I’ll want to do is drugs. Drugs will occupy my mind until all I’ll be able to think about is drugs.

I’m not sure of my exact sobriety date. I’m not a day counter. I think it’s been around two years not counting the meth bender I went…


Why I don’t want to get a medical marijuana prescription

Photo by John Mor from Pexels

I started smoking weed in the ninth grade and it’s been a constant in my life since. I don’t smoke to mask a deep rooted psychological issue, I just like getting stoned.

I moved from a state with legal recreational marijuana to a state with legal recreational marijuana. California to Colorado.

Only I didn’t. Weed sold in Colorado Springs is medical marijuana only. Nowhere in El Paso county can someone buy weed without a prescription.

Medical marijuana is a crock of shit. It’s supposed to add controls but it adds layers of complexity that provide more opportunities for corruption.

First…


KICKERS SUCK

It’s only click bait if you don’t deliver the goods

Photo by FransA from Pexels

Congratulations! You picked this story to read. Excellent choice.

There’s a lot of other stories out there you could have clicked on, but you chose this one. Probably due to the colorful headline I wrote and a love of players who switched teams. It’s okay, I love colorful headlines too!

I’m not writing this to talk about me, I’m writing this to make money by making empty promises to help you write better headlines.

Your headline is your everything

It doesn’t matter if you’re writing on Medium, Reddit, YouTube, or Wattpad. If you want people to read what you wrote, you need that killer headline.


The gang from Paddy’s most accessible episodes

Screen capture from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia available on Hulu

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is the longest running live action comedy series in television history. The filming for a new season will make it fifteen seasons for the show.

I have a confession. I only started watching It’s Always Sunny a year ago. The COVID quarantine gave me time to catch up quickly. My late adaptation was due to Charlie Day’s high pitched whine and the first episode I saw being:

Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer — It wasn’t a great episode. I found the joke of Charlie watching pro wrestling while doing ketamine and getting reality confused hilarious…

Hogan Torah

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